"You. Are. MINE."
** Warning: This entry/post is about being sexually violated. Our dreamer had this particular nightmare after reading a fictional story that involved rape/abuse. Please take caution when reading.
In my dream Rob speaks with his American accent. He and I are dating and are in college together. We also share a house as well.
Rob and I are at the school’s library. I’m sitting at a table. studying..a pile of work in front of me. Rob is next to me with is hand rubbing against my leg..massaging it. minutes later, he gets up and tells me he’s going to the bathroom. i nod and go back to my work.
Then I hear someone call my name. I knew it wasn’t Rob. This was a voice I knew all too well. I looked up, it was *Paul, a friend who I haven’t seen since high school. He smiled at me and said, “Hey there, stranger!”
I was stunned but ecstatic at the same time. I stood up and walked toward him and gave him a hug.
“Hey, *Paul!! its been forever! How are you? And what are you doling here?”
And so that’s how our conversation went for a few minutes. Old friends just catching up.
I was so into the conversation, I totally forgot about Rob. He was behind me when I heard him say, “Hey babe.” I turned to face him, smiling. And saw his face. He had a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes were cold as ice. I wiped off the smile on my face, cleared my throat and said, “Rob, this is *Paul, an old friend from high school.”
*Paul brought his hand up to shake Rob’s. “Hi, nice to meet you.” Rob said nothing. Only nodded. No one said anything for what felt like a long time. then *Paul looked at the clock and said, “Look Ana, I have to go. It was nice catching up with you. You still have my number, right? Call if you need anything.” He waved at Rob then left.
I turned back to Rob and his mouth was formed into a hard line. He was mad. I mean, I had talked to other guys before and that never seemed to bother him. but then again, those were HIS friends. *Paul was someone who he had no idea about. I try to play if off like it was nothing.
I took his hand, “Hey, baby. He’s just a friend. Come on. I have a lot of studying to do but first, lets get something to eat.” He said nothing. Great. I was getting the silent treatment. That’s pretty much how it went for the rest of the day. Until we got home.
I was in the bathroom brushing my hair humming some kinda show tune. When I was done I opened the door and jumped. It was Rob. Just standing there, staring at me.
“Hey, babe. You scared me! What are you doing standing outside here like that!”
He ignored my question and said, “You seem rather happy.”
I smiled, “Yeah. I am.” He went on.
“So how long have you known this *Paul guy?”
I had no idea where this was going. “Since middle school. He’s a close friend of the family.”
I heard some kind of growl escape his lips. “Rob, *Paul and I, we’re just friends. Nothing more.”
I knew he was thinking because there was a crease in his forehead. After about a minute he said, “I don’t want you to see or talk to that guy again. Do you understand?”
What? He did not just say that.
He prompted again, “Do you understand?” He turned away from me and walked towards the living room. I followed.
He’s serious and I was pissed! “Rob, *Paul is my friend and I’ll see him whenever I want.”
How dare he tell me who I could and couldn’t talk to. I wasn’t his to own!
“Don’t talk back to me, Ana. I won’t have any of it! You stay away from him. End of story.” I started to speak, “But R—” That was it. I felt a slap come across my face. I was stunned. “Oh my God”, I thought. I brought my hand to my face. My cheek stung. I just looked at him. Shocked.
“Rob, I…” He cut me off.
“Don’t, Ana. DON’T test me!” I said nothing.
He began to pace the room and went on, “Today at school, I go to the bathroom not even for a second and when I return, I see you chatting it up with some guy. What the hell is that all about?! For all I knew, he could have been making a pass at you!”
He had it ALL WRONG! *Paul wasn’t like that. at all!
I spoke up, “Rob, please listen. He’s just a friend!”
His face was near mine in a second. “Did I say you could speak?” I shook head.
“You listen here, girl. I say what goes around here. And if that means not seeing or speaking to someone, I mean it!”
He caught hold of my wrists and pinned me to the couch. “Don’t move,” he said.
He held me there with his legs. I was still in my clothes. He started undoing the buttons on my jeans. In fear, I thought, “NO! This is not happening!” He pulled my jeans down along with my underwear and threw them to the floor.
He began pushing my legs apart. “Rob, don’t do this!” He wasn’t listening. “Rob, baby, please!”, I pleaded.
He held his finger to my lips and whispered, “You love me, don’t you?”
Was he mental? That was a no-brainer.
“Of course! I love you, Rob!”, I said.
“Show me how much, Ana. Prove that you love me.”
I was scared. I didn’t wanna do this. Not now. Not yet. “No”, was all I could say.
“No?” he repeated. “You don’t love me?”
I wanted him to be rational about this. He was taking things too far! With tears welling up in my eyes, I repeated, “I. Love. You, Rob. No one else!”
Without another word he was in me with one thrust. I wanted to scream. But i knew that it wouldn’t help. I was crying now. He began to move. In and out. Repeating this motion over and over.
“Don’t cry. You love me. You said so yourself. You have to do this, for me.”
I was limp under him. Unmoving. Waiting for him to stop. With one last thrust, he came inside me, screaming my name.
He moaned, “This, Ana. What we did. It was all for love. Plain and simple proof that you are mine! No one can touch you. Not *Paul, or any of your other friends. You are mine.”
And those words replayed in my head. “You..Are..Mine.”
Immediately after that, I woke and started crying. There is poster of Rob that hangs on my wall across from my bed, I couldn’t look at it for the whole day. I was torn. I felt broken.
– Oh Ana, that is a horrible nightmare. But I understand after reading something close to this situation, it’s always possible to end up dreaming about it, too. But we all know that Rob is way different from this persona! More happy dreams to come =]!
*Name(s) have been changed to protect the identity of the sender.